everything's so different now. i mean literally everything. eric and i are done...but are we? are we really? i mean we still talk every day and we sleep over at eachother's house but i just feel so detached from him. it's like he's mentally moved on and there's nothing else except us holding onto the threads of what we had. it's sad, really. like all i can think about is the perfection of a relationship we had. absolutely perfect, everythingg about it, until i had to go and fuck it up. for the second time. why the hell do i do stuff like this? over nothing. over me wanting to do my own thing. who am i to fuck someone's love for me up like that? i guess until i get to be myself and depend on myself to grow up, that feeling will never go away. i miss him and i, though. so much.
my girls and i... ughh what to say. my other halves, much?? i can't stand not seeing them every day! a certain person i just no longer feel compelled to associate myself with is no longer hanging out with us. as far as Ali, i love her to death but i feel like she's still angry about the shit that went on earlier this summer. they're all back in school but i'm not quite yet, i'll be going on tuesday. i can't believe that this summer is finally over...and by finally i mean i can't believe it flew by. i definitely did my fair share of partying like crazy. things that i never thought i'd do. log bay day? sickest shit of my life. i can't wait for lbd '11 bc i'll finallllly be 21 and so will the girls and we're gonna go and get fuckkked up and have an amazing time. it's legit so much fun. i need that to happen like once a week lol. jersey shore? best day of the summer so far. i can't believe i got my nipple pierced, hahaha. that shit is crazy. and a 4th tattoo? like i'm just wilinnnnnnn out! just idk. things are nuts.
i just can't believe things have changed this much.. and this one, he's nuts. he's reallly funny tho and we have a chemisty that can't be explained. but nothings happened! we'll see though... i've got a whole semester with him & freak. hahahah getttt ready, fall 2010... you might be a little bit crazy...
